Eye Contact?

by The Hippy Coyote

"What are you doing here?"

Sheesh. How many times have I heard that?

I am a Californian - - in Utah.

"Are you Mormon?"

That's my second most asked question.

Not that anyone really thinks that I am Mormon...with my long hair and jeans.

Still, they're both valid questions.

ANSWER: I followed a girl.

Yep. Sometimes my little brain can really persuade my big brain to do some crazy things.

She was on vacation in California.

I was bored.

The band was on one of those breaks that last forever. (Tom was in jail again.)

Oops. Sorry Tom.

Don't get me wrong, Tom is a great guy. He doesn't deserve to be a criminal.

Whoever wrote that stupid cigarette law should be in jail.

Oh yeah. Don't get me started down that road.

Nixon's 'WAR ON DRUGS' is the most Hitleresque scheme to dupe America...

Not since the civil war have so many Americans been at war with their fellow Americans...

Ok.

Uh.

Oh yeah. I'm in Utah.

Crap. What a boring place.

I'm living a mile from the heart of downtown Salt Lake City and it's still like being in a farm town.

Salt Lake's the 'capital' of Utah, for those of you who unfamiliar with this American wasteland.

Oh yeah. Wasteland is an accurate term. I saw something on TV stating that Utah is the official trash can for the rest of America's NUCLEAR WASTE.

The Utah Senator worked out some deal to use all the remote areas for NUCLEAR BURYING GROUNDS.

What a joke. Obviously, America will survive just fine if all the Mormons start glowing in the dark. Hee-hee.

Man, I've got so many complaints about Utah.

I'm not sure how much to tell.

It's not like I have a lot of friends here.

This new album, AMERICAN ZEN - LEVEL 2, has a lot of Utah tales in it.

I gave a few copies out to some 'friends' here, and lo-and-behold, they're not my 'friends' anymore.

So, I guess there's some sensitive issues on this album.

WARNING!!!

IF YOU'RE MORMON - - DON'T BUY AMERICAN ZEN - LEVEL 2 !

The Coyote

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